One night I had a wondrous dream. No, not of footprints, but it was of a
definite kind that I’ve had only once since because I asked for it. After that moment in time, the rest was in
explanation.
I want to clarify on some points before I begin.
- I won’t say that the interpretation that I got is the only interpretation.
- I won’t declare that this only works for certain people
- I give God all the credit for the timing of working out the 4 distinct areas
I dreamed a dream that in the end had me afraid of boats,
water, and dark places. It is the type
of dream I would not want any person to experience unless they had the same
amount of breakthrough that I had. When
I first dreamed, I was 4 years old.
I dreamed that I was in a body of water, quite big. There were also thousands, possibly millions
of other people in this body of water.
There was no way OUT of the water except by the means of a boat that was
going around and picking people up.
After I had been swimming for some time, it occurred to me that I would
expend less energy if I were to get in the boat. (At this point of writing/recounting, I tend
to think about Pastor Tim’s message “Get in, get out, or get run over!” This was not that type of boat.)
In my dream, I noticed that the boat was huge. It stood out from the water. It moved here and there and had a way for
people to walk into the boat and be picked up.
I also noticed that there weren’t any that were getting OFF the
boat. Because the boat was giving people
a foundation to stand on and walk in, I came to the conclusion that it was
going to be safe in the boat.
I swam over to the boat and got into the line of people that
were being picked up at this junction.
As I walked up the walkway through the entrance of the boat, I felt a
sharp pain at either side of my head.
When I reached up to find the source of the pain, I discovered that my
ears had been clipped off and there was a small hole where they had been.
No, this wasn’t a literal dream. Very figurative.
I noticed however, that there were hundreds of people in the
boat and none of them had ears. I
however, was curious about the whole thing and went to find the Captain of the
vessel. A word of caution: Think not that the Captain is a good person simply
for the capitalization. It’s a title,
and thus is capitalized. When I
found the Captain, he stood out from the crowd for being dressed in white. At least, it appeared to be white with all
the individuals around him dressed in dark, drab colors.
When it came my turn to speak, I asked “Why is it that I and
many others here don’t have ears?”
The Captain smiled warmly at me and answered, “You don’t
have ears because there are things outside that I don’t want you to hear.” My time was up and I moved on. As I pondered on the Captain’s words, I
decided in my own thinking that it was odd that the Captain would be using the
harsh method of removing hearing just so that the individuals on his boat would
not hear what was outside the boat.
However, I wasn’t swimming.
I had a foundation to walk on and while it was quite dark in the boat,
it was dry and seemingly safe. As I was
walking through the different levels, I saw a person open a door at the
opposite end of the boat. The front had
the walkway, but the back had a small door.
When the small door was opened, the light from the outside poured in and
I began to see how dark and decrepit my place of stay really was.
The person picked something off a wall and then jumped out
the door. Well! Inquisitive mind of mine wasn't just going to
let something like that happen and not find out what happened! I made my way to the door and opened it.
I was momentarily blinded by the brightness and then looked
to my right. On the wall was a set of
shelves and on one of the shelves was a pair of ears. Without much thought to it, I picked up the
ears and held them to the sides of my head.
They reattached! Quite happy with
my discovery, I took a flying leap and was outside the boat.
I was out of the boat for a very short time. It seemed that the boat I was in turned on a
dime and before I had gotten very far, picked me back up again. Once more I found myself on the walkway. I knew I would lose my ears. I really did not want to go through that
again, but there was a magnetism to being on the walkway.
When I passed through the doorway, I noticed that it was
narrower than before and had sharp edges.
Once more, I felt the sharp pain at the sides of my head. I knew what had happened. But additionally, there was a sharp pain just
below my knees. With a thump and a cry
of pain, I landed on stumps where my shins had been. Now, I was walking on much shorter legs,
those without shins, ankles, or toes.
It took me much longer to hobble my way to the Captain and
when I got there, he seemed much taller. I also noticed something else about him. Since I was lower, I got a closer look at his
robe and I noticed something odd. Either
there was dirt in the boat or he was wearing an off-white robe. Finally it was my turn.
“I understand why my ears were taken, but why did you take
my shins?” I was still aching from the
removal and now I was confused.
With a smile that wasn't nearly as warm, the Captain
answered. “I took your ears because
there are things I did not want you to hear.
I took your feet so that you cannot get away from me.”
Now, I was truly scared.
Why any person would remove mobility so that I wouldn’t be able to leave
them was beyond understandable. I
hobbled my way to the door as quick as I could.
When I got there, I realized that the shins that had been removed were
there along with my ears. I put on my
shins much like putting on a pair of large boots. Then, I stood and retrieved my ears.
With a running start, I burst out of that door and plunged
into the water outside. Even before I
surfaced, I was swimming as hard and fast as I could. No way in the world did I want to be stuck in
that boat again. In the middle of my
struggle to get away from this evil boat, I heard a strange sound. Sounds of pain and screams of fear. I glanced over my shoulder and was horrified
further.
The boat had turned as before. But this time, instead of simply gaining
ground on me because I’d been unaware of it’s approach, I was being
chased. People between myself and the
boat were being run over!! I could hear them shouting for air as the
body of the boat shoved them under. I
don’t know whether death would have been the result for not being above water,
but it was some manner of torture to not be above the surface of the water.
Above the sound of the screams of pain and fear, I heard
laughter. The laughter was derisive and
I knew without a doubt that it was the laughter of the Captain. I struggled for a long time, but finally I
simply gave up. In my mind, I had
decided that it wouldn’t be as difficult to be in the boat than to be
struggling to swim away from it.
I submitted myself to be drawn up the walkway a third time. This time I saw the Captain waiting on me,
just inside the doorway of the boat. The
doorway now had jagged edges and I could parts of the edges were dripping with
blood. As I passed through it painfully,
I felt anew the sharp pains as my ears and shins were removed. However, before I dropped to the stumps of my
knees, I felt myself being suspended.
The laughter subsided and then a cruel voice spoke.
“I took your ears so that you would not be able to hear
things outside of the boat. I took your
feet so that you could not get away from me.” There was a pause as suddenly white hot pain
came from claws going into my eye sockets.
“Now I’m taking your eyes so that you cannot see me coming after you,
or see what I am doing.”
I was completely stunned and shocked into silence. It was only by feeling around that I could
determine where I was. Somehow in the
stumbling, I found my hand on a now familiar door. Turning to my right, I reached out. My hands found two orbs that had to have been
my eyes. Without really giving it much
thought, I pushed the orbs back into my sockets and I could see once more.
As I sat down to get my shins, I noticed that there were
MILLIONS of people in the boat. Each of
them were in one of the three varying stages of loss. Most of them were simply without ears. Out of those without ears, half of them had
no shins. Out of that number, only a
third were walking around completely blind to what was going on around them.
With my shins securely on, I stood and reattached my
ears. I remembered that the previous
time, I had gotten caught because I got accustomed to the shrieks and screams
when the boat was running people over. I
knew I had to tune this out and completely ignore them.
The screams sounded again, as did the laughter, but there
was something different. There was a
desperation in the laughter. Nearly as
though the Captain knew something that I didn’t. I don’t know how long I struggled through the
water, knowing full well that there were people being run over because of how
much I was struggling to never be in the boat again.
At some, I called out to a God I had never before talked to
but knew that existed. “Help me,
God. I can’t do this by myself.” Barely had the last word left my lips when my
fingers touched a hard surface just beneath the surface. It was something that was coming up from the
depths. I figured if nothing else, I
would pull myself across this object and make the boat have to slam into it and
stop or get delayed in its chase after me.
Instead, the object became a square rock that rose straight
up out of the water with me exhaustively sprawled out on top. I felt strength in my body like I’d never
felt before. I stood and watched as the
boat drew closer and closer. When the
side of the boat hit the rock, chunks of wood exploded off the boat. I thought surely the boat would shake the
rock, but there wasn't even a small tremor.
I knew not what the rock was, nor did I really care. At this point, I was safe from the boat. As the dream faded, I began to wonder about
the rest of the people still stuck inside….
THAT DREAM was when I was 5.
It was very dark inside that boat and each time I went into the
darkness, I experienced a pain that my mind could remember. As a result, for all of my growing up years,
I was afraid of dark places. My mind was
convinced that going into a dark place meant being hurt.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From the ages of 7 -
14, I made the choice to follow Satan and call him my master. There were so many things that I did that I
knew was wrong, yet I did them anyway to appease my master. There were also things that I discovered in
the spiritual that I haven’t heard very many people talking about today.
The one exception is the class that Jim Page (or Paige?)
teaches. I’ve only been there twice and
I don’t know what I’ve missed so far.
When I heard him last week, it immediately reminded me of the Boat
Dream. Oops, I am skipping ahead of
myself. Back to the story.
When I was 14, I was delivered from the spirit of rebellion
and of witchcraft. I gave the story of
the dream to the man who God had sent to deliver me. I asked him if he knew what it meant. After a pause, the man said, “I don’t know
the meaning and it is a very detailed dream.
All that I can tell you is to wait on God and in the right time, He will
give you the answer to the dream.”
Skip forward 10 years.
A wide variety of life lessons were learned in those 10 years, but none
of them had anything to do with the Boat Dream.
I had just turned 24 and was sitting in the Adult Sunday School
class. I think Jeff Miller was
teaching. Suddenly, I heard the
well-known Spirit of God ask, “Do you want to know the meaning of the dream?”
Up to that point, I’d had lots of dreams. So I asked, “The meaning of what dream?”
The reply was immediate.
“The meaning of the Boat.” It
might as well have been shouted into the sanctuary. It was as if time had stopped. Jeff was still teaching, but I was drawn to
another dimension as the Boat and all parts of it were explained to me.
The Spirit of God spoke this into my mind and I’ve never
forgotten it. “If you haven’t yet
guessed it, the boat is the Kingdom of Darkness. The water is the World. You are your own person and each time in the
Kingdom of Darkness reflects not only on your own experiences, but also the
levels of the Kingdom of Darkness against all of mankind.
“Satan is the Captain.
The removal of your ears, shins, and eyes has a dual meaning. I will remind you of what he said and then I
will explain what is really happening.
- When you lost your ears, Satan said there were things he did not want you to hear. Ears represent the ability to hear and understand the Word of God.
- When you lost your feet, Satan said he did not want you to get away from him. Feet represent the desire to feed on the Word of God.
- When
you lost your eyes, Satan said he did not want you to see him.
Eyes represent the ability to see what Satan is doing in the world. - When
you pulled yourself over a rock, you were effectively using something else
to protect you.
I AM the Rock. I lifted you away from danger and from prison so that you could be free and know what it means to be “free indeed”.
“When you lost your ears and the desire to hear and
understand My Word, you didn't actually gain them back when you got out of the
boat. It was a way that Satan deceives
people to believe that all they have to do is to “stop being evil”. It isn't enough to stop doing evil. There must be the actual step as you did
after the third time to admit that you cannot do it by yourself and to trust
completely on Me to save that which you cannot.
“Losing your ears and feet made you more vulnerable to
attacks. When in battle against the
darkness, a soldier needs his feet to stay standing. If you cannot hear the voice of your
commanding officer, how will you stand?
If your feet are not shod with the gospel of peace, how will you move
forward?”
“Once you have lost your ears, feet, and eyes, it is very
easy for Satan to deceive you about anything he wishes. If you do not understand that the ways of the
world are entirely against God, then you cannot see how Satan is working to
turn the entire world against God. Only
if a person asks because of being so exhausted of doing life their way can I
intervene and take them out of their depressing situation.”
I had waited TWENTY YEARS for that explanation. Jeff Miller was still teaching and expounding
on something, but I had gotten a revelation so astonishing, I could not speak
normally for several days. But my
inquisitive nature was still working.
“Isn't there more to the dream?” I thought it was odd that the dream had ended
with me being on a rock and nothing else.
“There is more,” the Spirit of God answered. “But there 4th part will not come
to you until several months before it happens.”
This only confirmed that the 1st (ears), 2nd (ears
and feet), and 3rd (ears, feet, and eyes) had already happened up to
that point in my life. I set out to live
my life to the best of my ability to serve God.
However, between the ages of 14 (after having been delivered
from witchcraft) till the age of 26, there was set in my parents’ mind that I
was still an evil child and they did their best to punish and train me
according to the habits they saw. My mom
later told me that she knew there was a change in me, but she was so stuck on
what she believed was there, it was easier to believe that I wasn’t changing
than to believe that God could do it.
At the age of 25, I had a falling out with my parents. At the age of 26, I left home and moved to
Cleveland. I did things that I knew were
measured as sin, yet I was going through a period of life where I was
discovering the difference between living under law and living under grace.
While it seemed that the ages of 26 and 27 were the happy
parts, I was dead inside. The year I
turned 28, I knew that all my negativity that I had bottled up inside was
crashing down on me. I battled hard, but
at the age of 29, I succumbed to a dark depression that seemed to be a literal
prison. I began to think of the boat.
I found myself drawn to a Christian shelter and for a few
months, a light began to shine into me.
One day, I was going about my duties when the Spirit of God announced,
“This week, I will show you the 4th part.” I didn't need an explanation. I was so excited that the first night I
didn't sleep. The second night, I tossed
and turned. The third night I realized
that there would be no dreaming if my mind weren't relaxed so I did my best to
go to sleep on time.
The third night it seemed I was barely asleep when suddenly
my conscious mind heard the sound of water.
At first I thought it was in the dorm I was sleeping. I went to raise my head and it seemed there
was a hand on my head, keeping my head down.
I consciously recognized what was happening.
The entirety of the boat dream and everything that it stood
for replayed in my mind. My spirit was
cheering when the Rock appeared. But
then, all traces of familiarity ceased.
Now, there was parts of the dream I’d never had before. I saw the Captain of the boat repeatedly
ramming his vessel against the Rock but not even the tiniest of shaking was
felt. Finally, he turned the vessel off
in another direction. I was happy beyond
happy. I was safe. I knew he’d never be able to get me. And then I did something entirely foolish.
I began to “play” around on the edge. Ultimately, I knew that God would protect
me. But, I began to see how much I could
delve into the things I knew I shouldn't, and still say that I was a Christian.
What I could not see from my actions of being on top of the
Rock, was that very slowly, the giant island was shifting back down. When the water closed over the thing I was
standing on, I was still playing. I was
convinced that as long as I was standing on the Rock, I could still play and
there would be no consequences.
Finally, the rock sank below to what my feet could touch and
to my astonishment, I was swimming again.
Just as I began the struggle once more to begin swimming again, I heard
the unmistakable laughter. The sneering
and derisive laughter. I knew where it
came from. I turned to see how far away
it was and BOOM! I was already at the doorway.
“I took your ears so that you can’t hear what is out in
these waters.” The pain to the sides of
my head. “I took your feet so that you
can’t get away.” I hit the stumps again
as white hot pain coursed through my body.
“I took your eyes so that you can’t see me coming, but before I take
your eyes, I want you to see what’s happening.”
His hand went straight for my chest and I was too stunned to
resist. “Now I’m taking your heart so
that you have no desire to live.” With
one hand, he removed my heart and with the other, he clawed out my eyes.
I was deaf, blind, a cripple, and completely dead
inside. I couldn't do anything for God
if I wanted to. I had no way of knowing
what God had in store for me. I felt
great big chains wrapping around my arms and the rest of my torso. Then, I was carried to a large post within
the boat, dropped into a heap and then the chains bolted to the floor. There was a certainty in my heart that I
would never get out of this again.
The darkness prevented me from seeing, hearing, or walking
around. I had no energy because of not
having a heart. However, I had a
mind. The mind, though cut off from life
from not having a heart could still think.
I began to think about the goodness of God and the things that God had
promised me. With my strength ebbing, I
prayed a prayer that I was sure would take God a long time to respond,
considering all the things I had done so far.
“God, if there is a way, please get me out of this
mess. I will do your will and your way,
but I know I can’t do it when I’m in this mess.”
Immediately, there was a bone-crunching THUD as the boat
slid up against something and ground to a halt.
I felt and somehow heard the sound marching. I’d never heard the sound before and I didn't
know what was going on. Suddenly, I felt
the chains which had bound me being cut off!
Suddenly, I was lifted from my position of neglected and I was being
held and loved.
“We have come to rescue you,” said a voice. I didn't know at that point, but somehow, I
still had my hearing. My voice croaked
back a response.
“I’m so relieved that God heard my prayer, but I’m not sure
how that’s going to happen when I don’t have my ears, feet, or eyes. It’s great that you came to help me, but I’m
useless without those parts.”
The sound of 3 sets of footsteps strode off and not many
seconds later, returned. With a
gentleness that I hadn’t experienced in a very long time, my eyes, feet, and
ears were put on me. Somebody else had
to put back on me what sharp edges had removed from me. With my eyes back in my head, I saw that
there were 18 soldiers standing next
to me. (This number is very important
and I will explain later.)
“Hey fellas, it’s really good to see you all here, but I
admit that at this point, you have given me more than I have ever had in this
place. I’m really thinking I can do this
on my own.” I was pretty sure about it
too until I glanced down and noticed a gaping hole in my chest. “I mean, I could if I just had my heart.”
The soldiers looked at each other and huddled together for a
short meeting. Then, one of them looked
at me and said, “We’re calling for backup.
Stand by.” I didn’t know how long
I’d be waiting, but it was much quicker than I expected.
There was a commotion coming from where the Captain’s room
usually was. I saw him looking very
frightened (which was unusual for the Captain) and then suddenly a Man in
complete white robe with eyes of fire stepped through the wall of the
boat. Taking the Captain by the neck,
the Man in white forced him to walk my way.
The masses within the boat parted like water as the Man in
white came to me with the Captain in tow.
From my time in Heaven at the age of 17, I recognized who the Man in
white was. It was Jesus. All was made clear to me by then who the
“Captain” was.
In a hoarse voice that was barely audible, Satan said, “You
are his Master. I cannot do anything
more to him.” Then, Satan gave over my
heart to Jesus. In the hands of Jesus,
my heart turned brand new. Then, he put
my heart back into my chest and my chest closed shut. In the time this took place, the soldiers all
had white robes and when my heart was given back to me, I had a white robe.
I turned to go in the direction of the small door. A voice called after me.
“Where ya going, Norm?”
I looked back in surprise.
“This is the door to get out. I
thought you knew that.”
Jesus looked me in the eye and said, “That door only leads
to suffering. Come with Me and I will
show you the correct door.”
The 19 soldiers followed after the King. We walked out through the door and as I was
walking, Jesus handed me a sword.
“What do I do with this?” I asked?
A soldier that looked like he’d been around a while turned
and replied. “You remember that door you
came through those past 4 times and each time you lost something?” I nodded.
“Well, this sword is the word of God and your memories. You are going to cut into that door and
remove all the sharp points so that it will never again.”
I was a bit confused.
“I thought the Word says, “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit.”
The soldier beamed a smile.
“Yes, that is why you have a sword.
The sword is the Spirit of God working through you. Because you have the Spirit of God in you,
you have the authority to take down the strongholds that were hurting you each
time you entered this kingdom.”
As we got to the doorway, I was summoned up to the front of
the group. I took my newly acquired
sword and chopped the doorway to pieces.
Then I joined the 18 soldiers. I
learned that the three that had gone to get my eyes, feet, and ears were new
recruits. There were 15 veterans and the
3 had just seen how the battle was done and won.
We trooped down the walkway and stepped onto the Rock. I gathered with the 3 new recruits as the 15
veterans sat down with Jesus. In the
middle of the hubbub, I discovered they were planning their next rescue. I walked over to join the plans and woke up.
I literally sat up in my bed. I checked the time. It was about 4:30 a.m. I still had 2 hours that I could sleep, but I
was too wired to sleep. I’d gotten the
end of the dream and I was pumped! I
knew the outcome and I knew that no matter what happened to me, God would be my
Rescue. I got out my Bible and began to
search. Quite soon, I found the
reference.
‘So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to
Zerubbabel. “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit” says the LORD
Almighty.’ Zachariah 4:6
The rest of that year passed without incident. It was the summer that I turned 29 that the
last part of the dream happened to me.
No, I didn’t end up in a boat. I
did however get stuck into the mindset that all was lost and there was no
reason for me to live. I was very suicidal
and would’ve jumped out the window on the 7th floor I lived. Would have, except that I am afraid of
heights.
Finally, I decided that I was going to talk to a
counselor. I told him of my desires to
just end it all because I was convinced that there was no better alternative to
living. He was STUNNED. Here, he had seen me several times and each
time he saw me, he’d ask “How ya doing, Norm?”
And each time, I’d answer, “Fine and dandy, thanks for asking.”
He began to ask where it was all coming from and it was like
a cork had been removed. In a torrent of
words, I began to explain how I was so afraid of moving forward because I had a
history of only finding negativity. The
negativity was weighing me down and I just wanted to end it by killing myself.
The counselor took it all in and then he said something that
totally stunned me. “Hey Norm, thanks
for sharing that with me. You know why
I’m saying thanks?” I shook my
head. “I’m saying thanks because it lets
me see what you’re really struggling with.
But beyond that, I’m saying thanks because it’s good to admit that you
are human. It’s good to admit that you
struggle because when you admit that you struggle, you admit that it’s only God
that can help you at this point.”
Like a crack appearing on a dam wall, I suddenly visualized
the point where I found the Rock and had pulled myself across the ledge that
was rising up through the water. I
realized that to get through the
struggles of life, I had to tell others
of what I was going through. This was a
huge breakthrough for me and I felt a lot better. Then I got another shock.
“Tell you what, Norm.
Your story needs to be told.
Tonight, you’re going to be in group and you will share your story. In fact, if you don’t tell your story, I will
call the psych ward and you will be strapped to a stretcher and taken to a
special room where you cant’ get out.
Either, you tell your story and help others, or I’m going to do my
darndest to keep you from leaving this floor.”
“B-bb-but, I feel good about just telling you. I don’t want to tell everybody else how weak
I am!” I felt both hurt and afraid at
the same time.
“Norm, you gotta change the way you think. You’re not telling others how weak you
are. You’re telling others how you
struggle. If you don’t tell us how you
struggle, how can we help you? If you
don’t speak and somebody else is going through the same thing, how will we help
them?”
I suddenly got the picture.
That evening, in a group of 18 men gathered together. The topic was “Things we don’t tell our
families we struggle with.” True to his
word, the man I’d spoken with had situated himself between me and the door. I was the 4th to speak.
I told of how I felt like there was nobody who understood me
and that the depression was just getting so heavy, I couldn't live. I told of how I felt like I should throw
myself out the window. I told of how I
had seen that I was 2 floors above a row of air conditioner units. Below that, on the ground was an empty
pool. I didn't know if I’d break bones
on the way down or if I’d just land in a “splat”.
When I finished speaking, the room was silent. The only thing that was heard was the sound
of breathing. Then, a man across the
room that I’d seen once or twice said, “You know brother, I’m really glad you
said something. See, I was going to do
the same thing. Only difference between
you and me is that I got an iron picket fence.
I've been memorizing how I’d throw myself out the window and exactly how
many of those points would pierce my body and whether or not I’d live because
of it.”
He barely finished speaking when a second man spoke. “You two have me in tears. I was thinking that nobody could possibly
understand what I’m going through. I
just got out of serving 15 years in prison.
There’s so much freedom here, but I feel so dead inside. If I wouldn't have come here tonight, I was
going to overdose tomorrow morning and y’all would've found a dead body in…” He
gave his room number.
A third. “Fellas, I’m
telling you, this is of God. I got a
tree that probably would've stopped most of my fall, but I was thinking of
tossing myself outta the window. I've
never been this suicidal, but the urge to just end it all is unlike anything
I've ever experienced before. I think
this is just a way for all of us to know that the ones who look weak are
probably the strongest here. The ones
who look the strongest are possibly the weakest. We just gotta stand together and lift each
other up.”
Do you see it? There
were 15 veterans in that room. I spoke
first. 3 others were able to speak after
me. 19 all together. I had goosebumps on my arms as I did the
count.
I was 29. My
depression started at the age of 9.
After 20 years of dealing with it, it was broken completely simply
because of what one man said, “You’re
not telling others how weak you are.
You’re telling others how you struggle.
If you don’t tell people how you struggle, how can they help you?”
All of that was 3 years ago.
There have been some amazing ways that God has healed bridges that were
burned forever. I am working more in
helping others understand that the things they struggle with isn't something
that is uniquely their own struggle. At
the same time, God is showing me that the things I've struggled with aren't
uniquely just me.
All in all, because of my life experiences, I know in
personal detail just how oppressive life can be without knowing that you’re not
alone, spiritually, mentally, or physically.
The pitiful captain of the boat just wants to make it seem that way.
P.S. This story has been shared in Russia.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Yea or Nay?