Because it wouldn't work for Ross

Maybe this link will work for Ross.  For all others within the United States, click this link

Jumping from $8,000,000 to $1,000,000,000!!

It's just a small clip, but this small clip has completely revolutionized the way that I see the potential of life earnings.  Not just in $$, but also in earning the ability to learn and understand the world around me.

Check your state here to see how I'm getting paid on the people in your neighborhood!!  If the service is unavailable (as it was at the time of this post), realize that this really is so big, sometimes the servers cannot take the load of people on the website.  So, like any other type of unavailability, check back often!

Did I Make a Difference

In the wake of the young man who chose to go into a Bible study and point a finger with loaded lead projectiles...I got to thinking about a song that I'd penned for my friend Todd.  At the time, Todd was actively involved in online forums that were all about decrying the importance of Jesus.  His activeness brought several to a saving knowledge of Christ both online and offline.  It's been a decade if not more since this has seen the light of day.  This is also a shout out to a new friend Tyler that I met yesterday.  I've added a line to give mention of the Christians in Iraq.

So quickly, that's how I'm gonna go

So suddenly, maybe before tomorrow

Abruptly, in the twinkling of an eye

In the sweet by and by

Will you wonder where I've gone?

Did I leave a hole in your life?

Will you wonder where and how

Did I make a difference in your life?

So quickly, that's how it's gonna end

So suddenly, with the loss of a head

Abruptly, with the report of a gun

Before you had your time to be done

Will they wonder where you've gone?

Did you leave a hole in their life?

Will they wonder where and how?

Did you make a difference in their life?

Say you're driving down the highway of life

Underneath the overpass

Suddenly basketball-sized hailstones surround you

Crushing you, now you have no breath of life

So quickly, that's how my friends will go

So suddenly, maybe before tomorrow

Abruptly, I have no chance to say goodbye

I cannot look them in the eye...

Will I wonder where they have gone?

Did they leave a hole in my life?

Will I wonder where and how did they

make a difference, did they make a difference?

Is anybody gonna wonder where you've gone?

Are you leaving holes in their life?

Is anybody gonna wonder where and how?

Have you made a difference?

Did you make a difference?

Did I really make a difference and why?

How Can They Help You?

By far, my longest post ever.  This is not meant to be a post where I brag how much I can write.  I did write this all in one setting.

One night I had a wondrous dream.  No, not of footprints, but it was of a definite kind that I’ve had only once since because I asked for it.  After that moment in time, the rest was in explanation.

I want to clarify on some points before I begin.

1. I won’t say that the interpretation that I got is the only interpretation.
2. I won’t declare that this only works for certain people
3. I give God all the credit for the timing of working out the 4 distinct areas

I dreamed a dream that in the end had me afraid of boats, water, and dark places.  It is the type of dream I would not want any person to experience unless they had the same amount of breakthrough that I had.  When I first dreamed, I was 4 years old.

I dreamed that I was in a body of water, quite big.  There were also thousands, possibly millions of other people in this body of water.  There was no way OUT of the water except by the means of a boat that was going around and picking people up.  After I had been swimming for some time, it occurred to me that I would expend less energy if I were to get in the boat.  (At this point of writing/recounting, I tend to think about Pastor Tim’s message “Get in, get out, or get run over!”  This was not that type of boat.)

In my dream, I noticed that the boat was huge.  It stood out from the water.  It moved here and there and had a way for people to walk into the boat and be picked up.  I also noticed that there weren’t any that were getting OFF the boat.  Because the boat was giving people a foundation to stand on and walk in, I came to the conclusion that it was going to be safe in the boat.

I swam over to the boat and got into the line of people that were being picked up at this junction.  As I walked up the walkway through the entrance of the boat, I felt a sharp pain at either side of my head.  When I reached up to find the source of the pain, I discovered that my ears had been clipped off and there was a small hole where they had been.

No, this wasn’t a literal dream.  Very figurative.

I noticed however, that there were hundreds of people in the boat and none of them had ears.  I however, was curious about the whole thing and went to find the Captain of the vessel.  A word of caution: Think not that the Captain is a good person simply for the capitalization.  It’s a title, and thus is capitalized.  When I found the Captain, he stood out from the crowd for being dressed in white.  At least, it appeared to be white with all the individuals around him dressed in dark, drab colors.

When it came my turn to speak, I asked “Why is it that I and many others here don’t have ears?”

The Captain smiled warmly at me and answered, “You don’t have ears because there are things outside that I don’t want you to hear.”  My time was up and I moved on.  As I pondered on the Captain’s words, I decided in my own thinking that it was odd that the Captain would be using the harsh method of removing hearing just so that the individuals on his boat would not hear what was outside the boat.

However, I wasn’t swimming.  I had a foundation to walk on and while it was quite dark in the boat, it was dry and seemingly safe.  As I was walking through the different levels, I saw a person open a door at the opposite end of the boat.  The front had the walkway, but the back had a small door.  When the small door was opened, the light from the outside poured in and I began to see how dark and decrepit my place of stay really was.

The person picked something off a wall and then jumped out the door.  Well!  Inquisitive mind of mine wasn't just going to let something like that happen and not find out what happened!  I made my way to the door and opened it.

I was momentarily blinded by the brightness and then looked to my right.  On the wall was a set of shelves and on one of the shelves was a pair of ears.  Without much thought to it, I picked up the ears and held them to the sides of my head.  They reattached!  Quite happy with my discovery, I took a flying leap and was outside the boat.

I was out of the boat for a very short time.  It seemed that the boat I was in turned on a dime and before I had gotten very far, picked me back up again.  Once more I found myself on the walkway.  I knew I would lose my ears.  I really did not want to go through that again, but there was a magnetism to being on the walkway.

When I passed through the doorway, I noticed that it was narrower than before and had sharp edges.  Once more, I felt the sharp pain at the sides of my head.  I knew what had happened.  But additionally, there was a sharp pain just below my knees.  With a thump and a cry of pain, I landed on stumps where my shins had been.  Now, I was walking on much shorter legs, those without shins, ankles, or toes.

It took me much longer to hobble my way to the Captain and when I got there, he seemed much taller.  I also noticed something else about him.  Since I was lower, I got a closer look at his robe and I noticed something odd.  Either there was dirt in the boat or he was wearing an off-white robe.  Finally it was my turn.

“I understand why my ears were taken, but why did you take my shins?”  I was still aching from the removal and now I was confused.

With a smile that wasn't nearly as warm, the Captain answered.  “I took your ears because there are things I did not want you to hear.  I took your feet so that you cannot get away from me.”

Now, I was truly scared.  Why any person would remove mobility so that I wouldn’t be able to leave them was beyond understandable.  I hobbled my way to the door as quick as I could.  When I got there, I realized that the shins that had been removed were there along with my ears.  I put on my shins much like putting on a pair of large boots.  Then, I stood and retrieved my ears.

With a running start, I burst out of that door and plunged into the water outside.  Even before I surfaced, I was swimming as hard and fast as I could.  No way in the world did I want to be stuck in that boat again.  In the middle of my struggle to get away from this evil boat, I heard a strange sound.  Sounds of pain and screams of fear.  I glanced over my shoulder and was horrified further.

The boat had turned as before.  But this time, instead of simply gaining ground on me because I’d been unaware of it’s approach, I was being chased.  People between myself and the boat were being run over!!  I could hear them shouting for air as the body of the boat shoved them under.  I don’t know whether death would have been the result for not being above water, but it was some manner of torture to not be above the surface of the water.

Above the sound of the screams of pain and fear, I heard laughter.  The laughter was derisive and I knew without a doubt that it was the laughter of the Captain.  I struggled for a long time, but finally I simply gave up.  In my mind, I had decided that it wouldn’t be as difficult to be in the boat than to be struggling to swim away from it.

I submitted myself to be drawn up the walkway a third time.  This time I saw the Captain waiting on me, just inside the doorway of the boat.  The doorway now had jagged edges and I could parts of the edges were dripping with blood.  As I passed through it painfully, I felt anew the sharp pains as my ears and shins were removed.  However, before I dropped to the stumps of my knees, I felt myself being suspended.  The laughter subsided and then a cruel voice spoke.

“I took your ears so that you would not be able to hear things outside of the boat.  I took your feet so that you could not get away from me.”  There was a pause as suddenly white hot pain came from claws going into my eye sockets.  “Now I’m taking your eyes so that you cannot see me coming after you, or see what I am doing.”

I was completely stunned and shocked into silence.  It was only by feeling around that I could determine where I was.  Somehow in the stumbling, I found my hand on a now familiar door.  Turning to my right, I reached out.  My hands found two orbs that had to have been my eyes.  Without really giving it much thought, I pushed the orbs back into my sockets and I could see once more.

As I sat down to get my shins, I noticed that there were MILLIONS of people in the boat.  Each of them were in one of the three varying stages of loss.  Most of them were simply without ears.  Out of those without ears, half of them had no shins.  Out of that number, only a third were walking around completely blind to what was going on around them.

With my shins securely on, I stood and reattached my ears.  I remembered that the previous time, I had gotten caught because I got accustomed to the shrieks and screams when the boat was running people over.  I knew I had to tune this out and completely ignore them.

The screams sounded again, as did the laughter, but there was something different.  There was a desperation in the laughter.  Nearly as though the Captain knew something that I didn’t.  I don’t know how long I struggled through the water, knowing full well that there were people being run over because of how much I was struggling to never be in the boat again.

At some, I called out to a God I had never before talked to but knew that existed.  “Help me, God.  I can’t do this by myself.”  Barely had the last word left my lips when my fingers touched a hard surface just beneath the surface.  It was something that was coming up from the depths.  I figured if nothing else, I would pull myself across this object and make the boat have to slam into it and stop or get delayed in its chase after me.

Instead, the object became a square rock that rose straight up out of the water with me exhaustively sprawled out on top.  I felt strength in my body like I’d never felt before.  I stood and watched as the boat drew closer and closer.  When the side of the boat hit the rock, chunks of wood exploded off the boat.  I thought surely the boat would shake the rock, but there wasn't even a small tremor.

I knew not what the rock was, nor did I really care.  At this point, I was safe from the boat.  As the dream faded, I began to wonder about the rest of the people still stuck inside….

THAT DREAM was when I was 5.  It was very dark inside that boat and each time I went into the darkness, I experienced a pain that my mind could remember.  As a result, for all of my growing up years, I was afraid of dark places.  My mind was convinced that going into a dark place meant being hurt.

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From the ages of 7 -  14, I made the choice to follow Satan and call him my master.  There were so many things that I did that I knew was wrong, yet I did them anyway to appease my master.  There were also things that I discovered in the spiritual that I haven’t heard very many people talking about today.

The one exception is the class that Jim Page (or Paige?) teaches.  I’ve only been there twice and I don’t know what I’ve missed so far.  When I heard him last week, it immediately reminded me of the Boat Dream.  Oops, I am skipping ahead of myself.  Back to the story.

When I was 14, I was delivered from the spirit of rebellion and of witchcraft.  I gave the story of the dream to the man who God had sent to deliver me.  I asked him if he knew what it meant.  After a pause, the man said, “I don’t know the meaning and it is a very detailed dream.  All that I can tell you is to wait on God and in the right time, He will give you the answer to the dream.”

Skip forward 10 years.  A wide variety of life lessons were learned in those 10 years, but none of them had anything to do with the Boat Dream.  I had just turned 24 and was sitting in the Adult Sunday School class.  I think Jeff Miller was teaching.  Suddenly, I heard the well-known Spirit of God ask, “Do you want to know the meaning of the dream?”

Up to that point, I’d had lots of dreams.  So I asked, “The meaning of what dream?”

The reply was immediate.  “The meaning of the Boat.”  It might as well have been shouted into the sanctuary.  It was as if time had stopped.  Jeff was still teaching, but I was drawn to another dimension as the Boat and all parts of it were explained to me.

The Spirit of God spoke this into my mind and I’ve never forgotten it.  “If you haven’t yet guessed it, the boat is the Kingdom of Darkness.  The water is the World.  You are your own person and each time in the Kingdom of Darkness reflects not only on your own experiences, but also the levels of the Kingdom of Darkness against all of mankind.

“Satan is the Captain.  The removal of your ears, shins, and eyes has a dual meaning.  I will remind you of what he said and then I will explain what is really happening.

• When you lost your ears, Satan said there were things he did not want you to hear.  Ears represent the ability to hear and understand the Word of God.
• When you lost your feet, Satan said he did not want you to get away from him.  Feet represent the desire to feed on the Word of God.
• When you lost your eyes, Satan said he did not want you to see him.
  Eyes represent the ability to see what Satan is doing in the world.
• When you pulled yourself over a rock, you were effectively using something else to protect you.
  I AM the Rock.  I lifted you away from danger and from prison so that you could be free and know what it means to be “free indeed”.

“When you lost your ears and the desire to hear and understand My Word, you didn't actually gain them back when you got out of the boat.  It was a way that Satan deceives people to believe that all they have to do is to “stop being evil”.  It isn't enough to stop doing evil.  There must be the actual step as you did after the third time to admit that you cannot do it by yourself and to trust completely on Me to save that which you cannot.

“Losing your ears and feet made you more vulnerable to attacks.  When in battle against the darkness, a soldier needs his feet to stay standing.  If you cannot hear the voice of your commanding officer, how will you stand?  If your feet are not shod with the gospel of peace, how will you move forward?”

“Once you have lost your ears, feet, and eyes, it is very easy for Satan to deceive you about anything he wishes.  If you do not understand that the ways of the world are entirely against God, then you cannot see how Satan is working to turn the entire world against God.  Only if a person asks because of being so exhausted of doing life their way can I intervene and take them out of their depressing situation.”

I had waited TWENTY YEARS for that explanation.  Jeff Miller was still teaching and expounding on something, but I had gotten a revelation so astonishing, I could not speak normally for several days.  But my inquisitive nature was still working.

“Isn't there more to the dream?”  I thought it was odd that the dream had ended with me being on a rock and nothing else.

“There is more,” the Spirit of God answered.  “But there 4^th part will not come to you until several months before it happens.”  This only confirmed that the 1^st (ears), 2^nd (ears and feet), and 3^rd (ears, feet, and eyes) had already happened up to that point in my life.  I set out to live my life to the best of my ability to serve God.

However, between the ages of 14 (after having been delivered from witchcraft) till the age of 26, there was set in my parents’ mind that I was still an evil child and they did their best to punish and train me according to the habits they saw.  My mom later told me that she knew there was a change in me, but she was so stuck on what she believed was there, it was easier to believe that I wasn’t changing than to believe that God could do it.

At the age of 25, I had a falling out with my parents.  At the age of 26, I left home and moved to Cleveland.  I did things that I knew were measured as sin, yet I was going through a period of life where I was discovering the difference between living under law and living under grace.

While it seemed that the ages of 26 and 27 were the happy parts, I was dead inside.  The year I turned 28, I knew that all my negativity that I had bottled up inside was crashing down on me.  I battled hard, but at the age of 29, I succumbed to a dark depression that seemed to be a literal prison.  I began to think of the boat.

I found myself drawn to a Christian shelter and for a few months, a light began to shine into me.  One day, I was going about my duties when the Spirit of God announced, “This week, I will show you the 4^th part.”  I didn't need an explanation.  I was so excited that the first night I didn't sleep.  The second night, I tossed and turned.  The third night I realized that there would be no dreaming if my mind weren't relaxed so I did my best to go to sleep on time.

The third night it seemed I was barely asleep when suddenly my conscious mind heard the sound of water.  At first I thought it was in the dorm I was sleeping.  I went to raise my head and it seemed there was a hand on my head, keeping my head down.  I consciously recognized what was happening.

The entirety of the boat dream and everything that it stood for replayed in my mind.  My spirit was cheering when the Rock appeared.  But then, all traces of familiarity ceased.  Now, there was parts of the dream I’d never had before.  I saw the Captain of the boat repeatedly ramming his vessel against the Rock but not even the tiniest of shaking was felt.  Finally, he turned the vessel off in another direction.  I was happy beyond happy.  I was safe.  I knew he’d never be able to get me.  And then I did something entirely foolish.

I began to “play” around on the edge.  Ultimately, I knew that God would protect me.  But, I began to see how much I could delve into the things I knew I shouldn't, and still say that I was a Christian.

What I could not see from my actions of being on top of the Rock, was that very slowly, the giant island was shifting back down.  When the water closed over the thing I was standing on, I was still playing.  I was convinced that as long as I was standing on the Rock, I could still play and there would be no consequences.

Finally, the rock sank below to what my feet could touch and to my astonishment, I was swimming again.  Just as I began the struggle once more to begin swimming again, I heard the unmistakable laughter.  The sneering and derisive laughter.  I knew where it came from.  I turned to see how far away it was and BOOM! I was already at the doorway.

“I took your ears so that you can’t hear what is out in these waters.”  The pain to the sides of my head.  “I took your feet so that you can’t get away.”  I hit the stumps again as white hot pain coursed through my body.  “I took your eyes so that you can’t see me coming, but before I take your eyes, I want you to see what’s happening.”  His hand went straight for my chest and I was too stunned to resist.  “Now I’m taking your heart so that you have no desire to live.”  With one hand, he removed my heart and with the other, he clawed out my eyes.

I was deaf, blind, a cripple, and completely dead inside.  I couldn't do anything for God if I wanted to.  I had no way of knowing what God had in store for me.  I felt great big chains wrapping around my arms and the rest of my torso.  Then, I was carried to a large post within the boat, dropped into a heap and then the chains bolted to the floor.  There was a certainty in my heart that I would never get out of this again.

The darkness prevented me from seeing, hearing, or walking around.  I had no energy because of not having a heart.  However, I had a mind.  The mind, though cut off from life from not having a heart could still think.  I began to think about the goodness of God and the things that God had promised me.  With my strength ebbing, I prayed a prayer that I was sure would take God a long time to respond, considering all the things I had done so far.

“God, if there is a way, please get me out of this mess.  I will do your will and your way, but I know I can’t do it when I’m in this mess.”

Immediately, there was a bone-crunching THUD as the boat slid up against something and ground to a halt.  I felt and somehow heard the sound marching.  I’d never heard the sound before and I didn't know what was going on.  Suddenly, I felt the chains which had bound me being cut off!  Suddenly, I was lifted from my position of neglected and I was being held and loved.

“We have come to rescue you,” said a voice.  I didn't know at that point, but somehow, I still had my hearing.  My voice croaked back a response.

“I’m so relieved that God heard my prayer, but I’m not sure how that’s going to happen when I don’t have my ears, feet, or eyes.  It’s great that you came to help me, but I’m useless without those parts.”

The sound of 3 sets of footsteps strode off and not many seconds later, returned.  With a gentleness that I hadn’t experienced in a very long time, my eyes, feet, and ears were put on me.  Somebody else had to put back on me what sharp edges had removed from me.  With my eyes back in my head, I saw that there were 18 soldiers standing next to me.  (This number is very important and I will explain later.)

“Hey fellas, it’s really good to see you all here, but I admit that at this point, you have given me more than I have ever had in this place.  I’m really thinking I can do this on my own.”  I was pretty sure about it too until I glanced down and noticed a gaping hole in my chest.  “I mean, I could if I just had my heart.”

The soldiers looked at each other and huddled together for a short meeting.  Then, one of them looked at me and said, “We’re calling for backup.  Stand by.”  I didn’t know how long I’d be waiting, but it was much quicker than I expected.

There was a commotion coming from where the Captain’s room usually was.  I saw him looking very frightened (which was unusual for the Captain) and then suddenly a Man in complete white robe with eyes of fire stepped through the wall of the boat.  Taking the Captain by the neck, the Man in white forced him to walk my way.

The masses within the boat parted like water as the Man in white came to me with the Captain in tow.  From my time in Heaven at the age of 17, I recognized who the Man in white was.  It was Jesus.  All was made clear to me by then who the “Captain” was.

In a hoarse voice that was barely audible, Satan said, “You are his Master.  I cannot do anything more to him.”  Then, Satan gave over my heart to Jesus.  In the hands of Jesus, my heart turned brand new.  Then, he put my heart back into my chest and my chest closed shut.  In the time this took place, the soldiers all had white robes and when my heart was given back to me, I had a white robe.

I turned to go in the direction of the small door.  A voice called after me.

“Where ya going, Norm?”

I looked back in surprise.  “This is the door to get out.  I thought you knew that.”

Jesus looked me in the eye and said, “That door only leads to suffering.  Come with Me and I will show you the correct door.”

The 19 soldiers followed after the King.  We walked out through the door and as I was walking, Jesus handed me a sword.

“What do I do with this?” I asked?

A soldier that looked like he’d been around a while turned and replied.  “You remember that door you came through those past 4 times and each time you lost something?”  I nodded.  “Well, this sword is the word of God and your memories.  You are going to cut into that door and remove all the sharp points so that it will never again.”

I was a bit confused.  “I thought the Word says, “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit.”

The soldier beamed a smile.  “Yes, that is why you have a sword.  The sword is the Spirit of God working through you.  Because you have the Spirit of God in you, you have the authority to take down the strongholds that were hurting you each time you entered this kingdom.”

As we got to the doorway, I was summoned up to the front of the group.  I took my newly acquired sword and chopped the doorway to pieces.  Then I joined the 18 soldiers.  I learned that the three that had gone to get my eyes, feet, and ears were new recruits.  There were 15 veterans and the 3 had just seen how the battle was done and won.

We trooped down the walkway and stepped onto the Rock.  I gathered with the 3 new recruits as the 15 veterans sat down with Jesus.  In the middle of the hubbub, I discovered they were planning their next rescue.  I walked over to join the plans and woke up.

I literally sat up in my bed.  I checked the time.  It was about 4:30 a.m.  I still had 2 hours that I could sleep, but I was too wired to sleep.  I’d gotten the end of the dream and I was pumped!  I knew the outcome and I knew that no matter what happened to me, God would be my Rescue.  I got out my Bible and began to search.  Quite soon, I found the reference.

‘So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel. “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit” says the LORD Almighty.’  Zachariah 4:6

The rest of that year passed without incident.  It was the summer that I turned 29 that the last part of the dream happened to me.  No, I didn’t end up in a boat.  I did however get stuck into the mindset that all was lost and there was no reason for me to live.  I was very suicidal and would’ve jumped out the window on the 7^th floor I lived.  Would have, except that I am afraid of heights.

Finally, I decided that I was going to talk to a counselor.  I told him of my desires to just end it all because I was convinced that there was no better alternative to living.  He was STUNNED.  Here, he had seen me several times and each time he saw me, he’d ask “How ya doing, Norm?”  And each time, I’d answer, “Fine and dandy, thanks for asking.”

He began to ask where it was all coming from and it was like a cork had been removed.  In a torrent of words, I began to explain how I was so afraid of moving forward because I had a history of only finding negativity.  The negativity was weighing me down and I just wanted to end it by killing myself.

The counselor took it all in and then he said something that totally stunned me.  “Hey Norm, thanks for sharing that with me.  You know why I’m saying thanks?”  I shook my head.  “I’m saying thanks because it lets me see what you’re really struggling with.  But beyond that, I’m saying thanks because it’s good to admit that you are human.  It’s good to admit that you struggle because when you admit that you struggle, you admit that it’s only God that can help you at this point.”

Like a crack appearing on a dam wall, I suddenly visualized the point where I found the Rock and had pulled myself across the ledge that was rising up through the water.  I realized that to get through the struggles of life, I had to tell others of what I was going through.  This was a huge breakthrough for me and I felt a lot better.  Then I got another shock.

“Tell you what, Norm.  Your story needs to be told.  Tonight, you’re going to be in group and you will share your story.  In fact, if you don’t tell your story, I will call the psych ward and you will be strapped to a stretcher and taken to a special room where you cant’ get out.  Either, you tell your story and help others, or I’m going to do my darndest to keep you from leaving this floor.”

“B-bb-but, I feel good about just telling you.  I don’t want to tell everybody else how weak I am!”  I felt both hurt and afraid at the same time.

“Norm, you gotta change the way you think.  You’re not telling others how weak you are.  You’re telling others how you struggle.  If you don’t tell us how you struggle, how can we help you?  If you don’t speak and somebody else is going through the same thing, how will we help them?”

I suddenly got the picture.  That evening, in a group of 18 men gathered together.  The topic was “Things we don’t tell our families we struggle with.”  True to his word, the man I’d spoken with had situated himself between me and the door.  I was the 4^th to speak.

I told of how I felt like there was nobody who understood me and that the depression was just getting so heavy, I couldn't live.  I told of how I felt like I should throw myself out the window.  I told of how I had seen that I was 2 floors above a row of air conditioner units.  Below that, on the ground was an empty pool.  I didn't know if I’d break bones on the way down or if I’d just land in a “splat”.

When I finished speaking, the room was silent.  The only thing that was heard was the sound of breathing.  Then, a man across the room that I’d seen once or twice said, “You know brother, I’m really glad you said something.  See, I was going to do the same thing.  Only difference between you and me is that I got an iron picket fence.  I've been memorizing how I’d throw myself out the window and exactly how many of those points would pierce my body and whether or not I’d live because of it.”

He barely finished speaking when a second man spoke.  “You two have me in tears.  I was thinking that nobody could possibly understand what I’m going through.  I just got out of serving 15 years in prison.  There’s so much freedom here, but I feel so dead inside.  If I wouldn't have come here tonight, I was going to overdose tomorrow morning and y’all would've found a dead body in…” He gave his room number.

A third.  “Fellas, I’m telling you, this is of God.  I got a tree that probably would've stopped most of my fall, but I was thinking of tossing myself outta the window.  I've never been this suicidal, but the urge to just end it all is unlike anything I've ever experienced before.  I think this is just a way for all of us to know that the ones who look weak are probably the strongest here.  The ones who look the strongest are possibly the weakest.  We just gotta stand together and lift each other up.”

Do you see it?  There were 15 veterans in that room.  I spoke first.  3 others were able to speak after me.  19 all together.  I had goosebumps on my arms as I did the count.

I was 29.  My depression started at the age of 9.  After 20 years of dealing with it, it was broken completely simply because of what one man said,  “You’re not telling others how weak you are.  You’re telling others how you struggle.  If you don’t tell people how you struggle, how can they help you?”

All of that was 3 years ago.  There have been some amazing ways that God has healed bridges that were burned forever.  I am working more in helping others understand that the things they struggle with isn't something that is uniquely their own struggle.  At the same time, God is showing me that the things I've struggled with aren't uniquely just me.

All in all, because of my life experiences, I know in personal detail just how oppressive life can be without knowing that you’re not alone, spiritually, mentally, or physically.  The pitiful captain of the boat just wants to make it seem that way.

P.S.  This story has been shared in Russia.

Why Can't I Remember Things?

From a wide variety of sources, ranging from WebMD to Authority Nutrition, this post is going to focus on why I can't remember things.  I, along with millions of other people across the world, suffer from short term memory loss.  I can remember in detail the events that happened more than a decade ago, but I could not tell you in the same detail what happened yesterday.  I'll not give you an example of yesterday, but I will of something that just focused into clarity.

Before I get into that however, I want to focus just a bit of attention to the possible causes of short-term memory loss.  A few of these I already knew, like head injury or stroke.  The rest I did NOT know.

Medications (antidepressants, antihistimines, anti-anxiety, sleeping pills, muscle relaxers)

Depression and stress

Sleep deprivation

Nutritional deficiency

Alcohol, drug, or tobacco use (in excessive-ness)

Head injury or stroke

If any of the previous describe either what you're doing or what you've done in the past, you are at risk for short-term memory loss.

Of flat rocks and 90 foot drop!

This is the point where I wish that I had a video of the following because it would make this so much more understandable as to why this is memorable.  However, this even happened before cell phones had the capability of capturing video, so it would be a bit difficult.

I was either 13 or 14.  My uncle Aaron had been planning a camping trip down in Hocking Hills State Park.  The idea was to hike from the park to Ash Cave.  The significance of Ash Cave is not so much that it is a "cave".  Rather, it is an overhang of rock that in the sheer volume of rock and its shape, it forms a natural amplifier.  Well, my uncle Aaron and his siblings had discovered a purpose for this natural amplifier through the dropping of flat rocks.  A WORD OF NOTICE: DROPPING OF ROCKS IS AGAINST PARK RANGER LAW AND CAN GET YOU PHYSICALLY REMOVED FROM THE PARK!!  However, I didn't know this until after the fact.

Check out this view!  A great bit more is given to the eye when you realize just how big this shelf is.  Keep in mind that rock is a natural amplifier of sound.  A full 25 minutes elapsed since I found that link and simply spent some time finding out more about how the Photo Sphere app works and how I could find it.  For the shutterbugs in my audience of readers, I present you this link.  Only available for iOS.

I have a set of coordinates for you.  Call this an interactive blog.  At the center of this angle, is a set of stairs.  My uncle stood there with an old VCR camcorder.  My cousin Joseph and I were standing approximately here.  For a better explanation, I've provided a screen shot.  It would be a good idea to have this picture alongside the links.  Why up there?  Well, that's where the flat rocks come into play.

You see, when my uncle was growing up, somebody taught him that the dropping of flat rocks into the pool would create a "BOOM!" and it was a dream of his to find out what might happen if several were dropped in, one after the other.

John Y stood on the greenish rock in the center of this picture/angle while Benjamin and Nathaniel stood guard on the entrance pathway here,  John's older brother Ervin stood guard up at the top to make sure no visitors from Cedar Cave chanced upon Joseph and I.

The 4 small and one BIG BOOM!

I gathered 4 small flat rocks, each of them weighing about 2 pounds and 6 inches across.  Joseph got a wide flat rock weighing about 12 pounds and measuring across at 18 inches.  The plan was that I would spin-toss my 4 rocks and as soon as mine had disappeared over the edge, Joseph would spin-drop his rock over the edge.

In preparation for this entire event, uncle Aaron had driven over nearly at daybreak so that we would be the first ones into the park area.  There was nobody else in sight as we scurried into position.  When "CLEAR!" rang out from all the individuals who were standing guard, I took up position and the first rock spun out over the top of the precipice and hurtled down into a small pool of water....90 feet below me!

By the time I'd spun-dropped the last rock, the first one was hitting the surface.  It sounded like a strange fireworks finale of 5 large shells.  Only, instead of fireworks and sound being above me, these sounds were below me.  Boom!  Boom!  Boom! Boom! As my last rock dropped, Joseph hoisted his rock into the air and we both waited with baited breath. Half a second after my last rock, the 12 pounder hit the surface of the water with a bellowing BOOOOOMMM!  So loud, that it was heard clear out to the parking lot!

But, here is my dilemma:

I can't remember the details of that day.  I know a different year, the cousins discovered why it wasn't a good idea to run downhill on a tree-trunk, fallen trees, and hidden rock-strewn hill.  Timothy tripped over a fallen tree and began to cartwheel down the hill.  Looks funny in the movies, but is terrifying in real life.  Somehow he avoided splitting his head open.  I've tried many a time, but can't piece together what year that memory happened or what happened the rest of that day.

That's where the idea came from for the addition of the following supplement.  Am I currently taking this?  Not yet.  At some point in this year, I want to be able to take every single supplement that I write about here.  This supplement's first ingredient is Coconut Oil Powder.  Allow me to introduce to you a key ingredient of longevity!

Get your coconut oil powder here!!

Used as a main food staple, Coconuts have been linked to longevity as well as a HOST of other incredibly great health benefits.  If you live in New Zealand and have heard of the Tokelauans, then you may very well know first hand about the incredible side effects of Coconuts.  But for the rest of the unknowing, here's a bit of news you might not have heard.

► Studies show that the fatty acids in coconut oil increase blood levels of ketone bodies. People who have high ketone levels have 0 heart disease, are known for living into their 100s, and have a far slower advance of Alzheimer's disease.  Children with high ketone count have fewer epileptic seizures.

►  Coconut oil reduces the risk of heart disease by improving LDL and HDL cholesteral.  The fatty acids reduce appetite by a significant amount, and as a byproduct, increases the amount of energy you have and helps you lose extra weight (especially that pesky abdominal area) correctly.

►  Coconut oil has been shown to kill pathogens which in turn, has the potential to kill infection before it starts.

These are simply the side-benefits that you can add to your health by the addition of Coconut Oil.  For your own access to capsules which have been shown to improve memory,

CLICK HERE or click the picture below!!

Click Here for Your Improved Memory

Sources include: Authority Nutrition, WebMD, Wikipedia, PublicMed, Google Maps, Todd Schumaker, and Hocking Hills State Park Travel Guide

Improve eyesight without glasses

I'll admit it.  I would LOVE to improve eyesight without glasses, especially my own.  I know that MILLIONS of people wear glasses because their eyes are either wore down from staring at a screen or perhaps they have an early stage of age-related Macular Degeneration.  I am not eligible for doing life without glasses, but I'll elaborate on that at the end of the article.

Whenever I wake in the mornings, the first thing on my mind is, "What can I write about today?"  It was actually a friend Heidi who got me started.  She posted to Instagram how she had to add reading glasses to her purse because she no longer could see.  Well, I got to thinking about that picture because of a wonderful collection of vitamins called "Vision Clear".

With vs. Without

I don't have to tell you that reading is an integral part of life.  Ever since the age of 6, I have been wearing glasses.  I've had more experiences WITH glasses than WITHOUT.  There are many people however, who go most of their lives without glasses and one day realize, it's just easier to find a pair of glasses to make that font a bit easier to read.

I've done a bit of research over the course of 26 years.  Within each year, about a month's worth of study has been done.  Eyes, like the rest of the body, deteriorate.  When the microscopic veins that carry nutrients to the eye begin to shrink with age, the vision begins to falter.  A much better explanation of this can be found in the following picture:

If you see Albert Einstein, you are Far-Sighted.  If you see Marilyn Monroe, you are Near-Sighted.  With my laptop on my thighs at about 1.5 feet away from my eyes, I can only make out that there is a face in front of me, it may or may not have eyebrows,  May have eyes or just holes in its head, a faint nose, and a grimace that might be where the teeth are.  My left eye sees less than my right eye.  The right eye can see the hair  of the two pictures.  The left eye is interpreting the picture as a mask.

However, if you can see the people, you are seeing better than me if I haven't got my glasses on.  While this product of Vision Clear will not do much for me in the way of healing the eye, it can do wonders for you!

Scientists have discovered that the number one reason why eyes begin to falter at 50 and older is because of Age-Related Macular Degeneration.  It is the Macular that is responsible for the sight of each person.  People born without a macular, are blind.  There have been people who have been given sight through eye transplants.  There have also been those who have been touched by the hand of God and have completely new vision.  I believe that at some point, God will grant me perfect eyesight, but until then, I simply have to continue to do what I can with what I have.

Why I can't see normally

I have a twin sister and at the age of 6, we were beginning to sorta freak out our parents.  I could read a book with my right eye and watch my mom in the kitchen with the other.  It was termed "Lazy Eye", but I was thinking it should be called "Efficient Eye".  I was using both of them at the same time and doing so efficiently!  My parents however, thought that we might get teased for having eyes that didn't point in the same direction and began to look for a way that Naomi and I could have better vision through Lazy Eye correction surgery.

The surgery took place in a small hospital in Mansfield, Ohio.  To this day, I wish my parents would have taken us to Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio simply because the surgeons there were better than what I got.  From the age of 6 till now, my twin and I have had to wear glasses.  But, because of what happened to me, my vision is much worse than hers.

Importance of corneas

Mine got sliced.  I have half less than what most people have.  And I didn't find out about it till I was 23.  The only way that my vision can be restored to normal is corneal implants or God's touch.  That's it.  Come June 13th 2015, it will be 10 years since I discovered that it was because of surgical error that I cannot see like most people.  Because the discovery of this error was more than 10 years after, I cannot have a malpractice lawsuit.  There is only one person that I know that has vision nearly as bad as me.  That guy is Russ Ward.  But I don't think his corneas got sliced, like mine.

The important thing I want you the reader to realize is this: I'm not an invalid.  I'm simply a fellow that can't see as well as most.  Night vision for me is horrible.  At night, an oncoming vehicle limits my vision to my wiper blades.  At this point of life, I'm not able to buy Vision Clear.  However, I would LOVE IT if a few of my friends could make the purchase and let me know how it works for them.

How to : Get Job, No Experience

When I first started writing this particular post, I was thinking about how I got started in web development.  I'd just quit a job that was wearing me down mentally, physically, and spiritually.  For those not used to the last word, I can also go with metaphysically.  I wanted to know more about web development, but more specifically how to.  In short my mantra was: Get Job, No Experience.  Finding the right way to go was a bit tricky and then I found a site of beauty.

Do sites of Web Developer forums exist?

I think you've got to be a bit more specific.  A title (when I was doing the research of this post) jumped out at me. "60 Ways To Generate Income With No Job".  I honestly could care less whether you do a Google search for that one.  Obscure block text greeted my half-blind eyes and I struggled through the words...only to discover that there was nothing there.  Great eye-catching title and a bunch of mumbling afterward.

I was going through my Twitter feed to try to find something to blog about.  After all, unless a person is linking something that hasn't been talked about in ages, you're bound to find something fresh to write about.  As I was reading, the following link caught my attention.  It was all about this free keyword tool for creating a winning YouTube channel.  Now, I'm no expert, but I do know that in order to find an audience, you must create that which your audience is looking for.

I clicked over, curious if they were going to do a review on my all-time favorite set of tools.  When I started writing this post, it was going to be about "the keyword tool that didn't make the cut".  But as I got more in-depth, I realized that if I merely wrote about the keyword tool, I would be missing out entirely on the SEO tool.

How I got started in using Twitter

It all started with one very bright, very witty normal young lady who has a brain for marketing.  Has a way of generating $ with Twitter.  Got my attention!  But then, I noticed that something wasn't adding up.  I suppose that each person has their own ideas on what works and what doesn't.  I rely on keywords to know what people are looking for because I am an advanced sheep.  Bear with me, I have a point to make, but it requires a bit of introduction.

Sheep, Advanced Sheep, and Shepherds & how they are different

I do not remember who made this comparison to me first, but he used the comparison of sheep and shepherd.  All of this was based on the basic idea that there are 3 types of people:  Those who create the news, those who share the news, and those that just read the news because somebody shared it.  To show the comparison a bit more, it looks like this:

• Shepherd = those who create the news
• Advanced Sheep = those who share the news
• Sheep = those who read the news

I'm a news sharer.  I see how it can affect the lives of my sheep friends.  Seems a little sheepish to admit this (ok, bad pun), but I don't care about the news as it happens.  I have no desire to follow the news just so that I can be depressed about it.  I dealt with depression for 20 years until a group of stronger heads showed me how to dump depression.  While I have dealt with the depression in my own life, I'm still cleaning up from the affect 4 years later.   I DO care about the news when I can see how I can share it with my sheep friends.

This is how Kierra and I are different.  She cares a great deal more about sharing the news immediately as it happens, but also creating her own at the same time.  That's simply not my style and until I see how it happens in front of my own eyes, I see no point to it.  NOT to say it is pointless!!!  We've come to the point of agreeing to disagree.

Back to the main dish..erm topic

Advanced sheep use tools to find out what is being talked about.  When I was in college, I had to do a report about Twitter.  If my foggy brain serves me correctly, Twitter was created to find a way to use keywords in short bursts of information and still get the point across.  Along came link shortener sites and Twitter boomed over the Internet.  #hashtags are keywords.

So, I then came upon a YouTube Keyword tool that said I could check for any keyword and get a result.  Yup, I got one.  It is more expensive and provides less than Jaaxy.  Even more interesting, providing less than Jaaxy yet being MORE EXPENSIVE per month...seems a bit unfair.  See for yourself based on price alone:

On the left, you have the tool for finding keywords.  On the right, you have the same thing, but FAR MORE to do with the keywords.  I use the Pro Version at $19 USD/month.  Then, I simply head over to Wealthy Affiliate and use the forums there to learn how to apply.

So, why wasn't Jaaxy covered in the review of keyword tools?  I honestly don't know.  The monthly for Wealthy Affiliate is $47.  Add that with the monthly of Jaaxy and you still haven't gotten to the monthly of the Keyword Tool for YouTube.

So, create a YouTube channel if you wish to monetize.  Or, simply buy websites and monetize.  I prefer the second choice.

Thoughts or comments?